if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
