He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
