Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize