the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
