Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
