It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Alive.
So much puke
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
