a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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