conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
