he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize