what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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