we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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