The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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