it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Dick very happy bro
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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