It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
