i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
