That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
