Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
