you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I touched a dick in church today
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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