hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize