sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
