I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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