never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
