he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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