Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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