Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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