then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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