Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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