I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
