I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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