Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
