I want to make a zoo with you.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize