Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
