it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
