Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
