Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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