You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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