Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
