I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
