its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize