I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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