Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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