dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
