you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize