hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I checked into jail on foursquare
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
