My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
