break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize