At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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