i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
