I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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