They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
