Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
