Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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