Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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