Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
