Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
