Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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