I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
