Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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