I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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