Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
