sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
