Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize