We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
