Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
