A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
